there's no such things as ONE TRUE LOVE!
I Consider compassion and empathy are at the base and core of my deeply held beliefs, how surprising is it that I would talk about Love a whole bunch? (Tenet number one yo!)
Fair enough, I am also a frenchie so, it's to be expected, somewhat less goth than I used to be, but still...I am also pretty fascinated by the human kind, almost to the point I don't feel like I belong to this world ( curse and blessing of being neurodivergent and having to learn and study what comes naturally to others) and what is more human than Love!
I am pretty sure my idea of Love is, as most my opinions are, unusual. SO, here it goes...
Brace yourself for the goth humoristic illustration
Many people have a hard time saying "I love you", and it's a shame! It's not just because they are unsure of their own feeling. Not even because they feel ashamed and weak for having feelings because they have learnt that admitting your feelings makes you a "wuss". Most times, I feel it's because they are afraid that it might be poorly interpretated. I say the three words a lot more than I used to, and it took a bunch of people by surprise! It also got my loved ones to say it more and what a wonderful feeling (alt
hough I don't say it to hear it back)! It is something I struggle with, there are people I want to say it to, all the goddamn day, but I know they don't feel confortable hearing it, it is saddening but I am pretty sure they know!
Depending how I say it and to whom though, it doesn't always mean the same thing. Even when it is to a romantic partner, I don't express the same love every time I say "I love you".
I am very much so convinced that there isn't just one kind of love and there are many many ways to show love, feel loved or even expect love. Here is Ancient Greeks' view on the matter, which honnestly make a lot of sense to me:
8 Different Types of Love
(can totally be combined and aren't mutually exclusive)
Philia — Affectionate Love.
Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members.
QUICKLY, go get yourself a good laugh if you are goth and/or love that show * here *, not the best example since that group is very incestual (good for them!) but hey...
everyone knows the show FRIENDS, right?
Pragma — Aquired Love.
the Love of the overtime, slow cooked, it develops on the long run, it is pragmatic (what do you know) and comes from Reason and not any lower (nor heart or pants)
yes, them again! the love I see here is Pragma, although it is not the only one.
Storge — Familiar Love.
the kind you have from family members, they def don't need to be blood relatives if you ask me.
sibling love is weird but "qui aime bien châtie bien": who loves well, chastises well!
Eros — Romantic Love.
Let's just say the word "erotic" comes from that one, so yeah that one is hot, body oriented love
she is a psycho but still hot! Big respect for the "strange sexual spell" she put fester under, especially since he seemed somewhat Ace
Ludus — Playful Love.
that is "new era relationship" stage, flirt and such.... Limerence starts here. let's just look at a familiar word> ludic: amusing, playful
considering he is a vampire, he's sorta playing with his food but, yeah, defienetly the most flirtatious dark character I could think of!
Mania — Obsessive Love.
well, that one can go from limerence to complete stalker and even crime of passion (yeah that's morbid, but remember who is writing here)
yeah they are nuts, don't we love it tho!
Philautia — Self Love.
Having compassion for yourself, this is satanist AF and something always forget to consider.
the perfect embodiment of "the dance" when you are proud and happy about yourself, like hi-fiving yourself
Agape — Selfless Love.
This one is more towards Empathy for all beings without expectations. This one is a gift with no strings attached.
nothing like loving unconditionally your community so much as Jack does...
I hope this little article brings some clarity to my loved ones, that it gives food for thoughts to others, laughter for all hopefully too! Don't be afraid to love! And if it makes you love me more...well JACKPOT!
a little tribute to some of my favorite real life Gomez and Morticia / Brangelina like couples:
Dex and Chalice
Fuchsia and Hurley
and a special thank you to this awesome guy for helping normalize saying "I love you" to dear friends and make me rethink the meaning of it: