Pride and why I am uncomfortable
This little "scream it out" article had been sitting in my drafts for months now and I just couldn't bare to see it there any longer between Roe v Wade being overturned and the waitlists up to 10 years for HRT treatment in Ireland... There are many reasons to be uncomfortable for a queer woman today, so I rehashed that draft a bit but yeah...This week end I wend to march at Pride with the organizers of the Trans & Intersex pride in July (the pride with no capitalist support) and distributed flyers to march on the US embassy about abortion rights...it's time to let my words come out! Pride is necessary, it saves lives every year and gives people the courage to come out, to be themselves, to feel safe and accepted. I wish pride was not just a good excuse for most to look cool, get shit faced or virtue signal.
Pride is something that is with me every single day! I wish companies coming out with pride merch would keep it up year round and attach it to a charity year round. Why? Because we identify as queer all year! *edit: I actually lead a service on TST TV about ethical consumerism and rainbow washing just before going to pride. Past services can be found in the satanic ministry archives*
Irish people are Irish every day, not just on March 17th, French people are French July 14th and the rest of the year, Americans are quick to tell you any day of the year where they are from and many of them are "proud Americans" to a fault if I might say so. It matters just as much to identify as queer as it does to identify as -insert citizenship-. I still get lectured on my own citizenship by both French people and foreigners so...who knows what a "real French person" means then?!
It still baffles me that it would demand such an extraordinary amount of courage to participate in Pride. It baffles me that so many human beings despise others or themselves for being gay, trans, non binary, ace or just different in general.
What hurts me the most is when people from the community gatekeep and dog pile...even bully others.
It pains me to see people demanding their identity or pronouns to be respected or should I say...idolized even, when they disrespect and discourage others from coming out and being their authentic self and instead, they just choose to be dickheads. These same people won't accept that someone in a seemingly heterosexual and monogamous relationship could actually be bi or pan and poly, maybe even ace or demi...
Reading "wait! How are you bi if you are married to a -different gender person- and not seeing anyone else?" and "how can you have kids and be ace" or "how would you be gay when I only knew you dating -different gender-"
Seriously! Could you be more nosy and prejudiced? A lot of these people tend to assume genders too to make it even worse! Being gay, lesbian, ace or whatever else doesn't give you any right to be the judge of how people see themselves and identify and how they chose to live their identity. It doesn't have to be clear to you...you have no right to tell people what to do with their body or their anything in fact... that includes what to wear, how to cut their hair or how to behave. Something I particularly hate reading or hearing: "what do you even care, you re ace, you should just get a vasectomy and be done with it"...I bet donating eggs for ace or queer afab is something that people have suggested a bunch too as a "duty" or "good deed.
Stop making people feel rejected and betrayed... especially by their own! Some of these people might have been out or working as ally around the LGBTQIA+ community for decades and yet encroach on other people's rights to agency and plain ol' reject their right to bodily autonomy. On what fucking base? Norms that a society choosing to oppress us has created. A lot of women live with internalized misogyny and a lot of people in general with body issues, but POC, trans, modest folks suffer from it even more. Queer or not, whatever color your skin or salary you might be on, nothing allows you to be a dick! Queer people don't owe you shit! Non binary folx don't owe you androgyny, transwomen don't owe you long hair and dresses and transmen don't you a beard and muscles... let alone their reproductive rights...
I seriously can't believe the shit I come across on social media or hear in the street sometimes!🤦 (Ask me again why I am a hermit most of the time and an angry bitch pretty much always!) Some people in the community, trans people in particular are refused healthcare because this "not good enough to be -insert identity" and "one true way" BS! We have to abolish these nonsensical expectations and criteria's. We have to stop expecting people with penises to get a vasectomy to protect us, stop expecting people with uteruses to carry or prevent pregnancies and instead fight for their option to choose to do so!
This is no time to hate and judge one another, it is time to help each other acquire their right to agency, autonomy and freedom to live their best life as they see fit! We must fight against those, including us, who impose on us restrictions, bans, standards and conditions to be who we are and do what we want! Declaring hate on white cis-man doesn't help, deeming someone less feminine/masculine not good enough to receive the HRT or procedure you seek too doesn't help, shunting lipstick lesbians/bisexual for not being lesbian enough or what not leads nowhere. We all should have the same access and choice! Once this is achieved I am certain the world will be a better place and we will finally see there is space for everyone in their diversity. Let's not be guided by excuses, standards and principles trying to turn us against one another! I stand for my trans and intersex siblin
gs, I stand for my cis brothers and sisters, I stand for my siblings of every and any color, I stand for my siblings of any faith for their right to choose! I will always! I stand for anyone of us to be able to be themselves and to hell with those who won't accept them! I will direct my fight and my rage at actions and words that are detrimental to my siblings and my own rights to be ourselves and do as we please with our own life and body safely, not identities. And if I have to die on this hill I will refuse to le anyone impose their will and ideas upon another! Be proud, be yourself and let others do the same!