Butterflies: the ultimate lust bug!
Falling in love is such a great feeling! It can be so scary for a lot of reasons; when there is a fall, there is usually a crash and maybe even breakage (broken hearts).
As a Satanist, a fall is really not a bad thing to me; Lucifer the fallen angel being our champion, you know... I sure don't think only bad things results from falling down from the Heavens, cloud 9 or any other of its levels!
When I say butterflies, I am talking about the swoony sensations in your stomach when your person, your crush or someone you terribly admire talks to you, compliments you, looks at you or so much as enters the room. Before knowing that people called it butterflies, I used to say it was kind of like a breeze in my stomach or like a silk scarf pulled delicately against the walls of my insides...
I have to say, it's poetic to picture a belly full of beautiful, shimmery, every color wings all alight when your beloved waltzes in. Monarchs, Ulysses or even Atlas moths and swallowtails...however you picture those! As a goth kid, you'd think I'd see death's-head hawkmoths maybe? No matter what species of them you picture, you know the feeling I'm talking about I'm sure!
If only a jittery stomach was the only "tell" that you have a "thing" for someone. In terms of tangible, physical "tells" we usually also have sweaty hands, searing ears, blushing, a racing heart and the complete inability to focus on anything but the "apple of our eye"...oh and, the "there's something happening in my downstairs area". The funny thing is, absence of these particular physical symptoms can be just as telling as their presence. For instance, some can't articulate a proper sentence or quite the opposite it's a shit show of a logorrhea. Us humans, we associate these feelings/ symptoms with "true love" when in reality it's very much more about LUST.
What's more satanic than a good old deadly sin! As moving of a metaphor pretty winged creatures might be, it's a very tangible/distinctly physical phenomenon that points to the profound tie between body and mind.
If you have read me before, you know that I think there's no such thing as ONE true love.
How funny though that people tend to think a Frenchie such as me, should be so madly romantic, desperately passionate and pathologically everloving by nature. Yes, I love Love, but I also love facts, science and learning about why the hell I feel the way I do.
Well, admittedly, I told someone just yesterday that my hedonistic epicurean poly ass falls in love very easily:
"I'm French...I fall in love with the wind in my hair and the sun on my cheek at the same time. It's against my very nature to believe I could be happy with a 'one and only' ".
Now, do I fall in love with every moving thing? Am I a butterfly attracted to any source of light there is...including those that could easily burn my wings away? Nope! Because I am (now?) a reasonable heart. Why? Experience, because what is life if not a school where you learn to compile data, analyze statistics, conduct studies (even unknowingly) and develop strategies and mechanisms.
In the light of Tenet 5, let's get to facts here: When you get nervous or excited, a nerve is stimulated that activates the gut and causes that fluttering feeling in your stomach. That's right people, it's not magical, it's science!
Scientific experts focusing on a new romance or a crush rather than lust or passion come to the conclusion that there isn't any difference when it comes to what the brain exhibits. Sensations such as "butterflies" are in fact no more signs that we are truly into someone than they are symptoms of sexual passion. It has nothing to do with true love and prince charming/ fairytale princess of your preference. “One of the challenges that scientists face is that a lot of these [physical symptoms] are really consistent with sexual arousal and response,” says Dr. Nicole Prause, a psychophysiologist and the CEO of Liberos. “I think people want to hear it's a higher calling or something like that, but the kinds of body changes in an early stage crush or infatuation look very much like someone easily sexually aroused.”
So yeah, I hate to break it to you, no magic pixie dust, no cupid sent by the divine to shoot you with heart shaped arrows, no power of pure modest perfect fairytale love...it's all sin and science! But hey! That doesn't mean you shouldn't appreciate those awesome feelings! Indulge, accept the way you feel, give in, immerse yourself in all these sensations and live a little! Like butterflies, our life is but ephemeral, so spread your wings and learn to fly, take a leap of faith and as you fall...enjoy how liberating and fulfilling it is to live your authentic self !